Sex after pregnancy. Yes, it happens even though it may be the furthest from your mind as you heal after delivery and endure sleepless nights.
Let’s talk about what to expect with sex after pregnancy!
While there's no required waiting period, many health care providers recommend waiting 4-6 weeks after delivery to have sex.
Having intercourse too early, especially within the first 2 weeks, increases the risk of bleeding or uterine infection. After 2 weeks, the chances of a problem occurring are small.
If you have an episiotomy or a tear during birth that needed repair, wait until the site has completely healed. Check in with your healthcare provider about that.
90 percent of women resume sexual activity by 3 months.
Half of all women resume by 6 weeks.
The right time is when you decide you are ready. It’s totally fine to take your time. You and your partner should share your feelings about this. Take time to connect emotionally and come up with ways to connect physically.
Most women, around 9 out of 10 women (90%) experience pain when they first have sex.
This is the same if you have sex within the first 6 weeks or wait until 3 months after delivery.
Painful intercourse persists in 44% of women at three months postpartum, 43% at six months, and 28% at 12 months postpartum.
Vaginal dryness can be a big reason for pain during sex. This is due to changes in your hormones postpartum.
Scar tissue from a tear or episiotomy may also lead to pain during intercourse.
For both, use lubrication to help reduce the dryness and help to eliminate pain.
FALSE! Actually breastfeeding increases prolactin. Prolactin keeps estrogen low. Low estrogen means vaginal dryness.
Good thing we have lubrication! Keep some lube nearby so you won’t feel discomfort!
Other steps to help with dyspareunia (pain during intercourse):
Empty your bladder before sex or take a warm bath.
Use an over-the-counter pain reliever if needed before.
Use ice if you experience burning after intercourse.
Try different forms of intimacy: such as massage, oral sex or mutual masturbation.
Create time for sex when you're not too tired or anxious.
True! Ongoing pain can also be the result of problems in the pelvic floor. These muscles provide support to the internal organs. When they are strained, injured or weakened during pregnancy and birth this could lead to painful intercourse.
Kegel exercises can help strengthen these muscles and may decrease pain during sex.
Kegel exercises also can improve blood circulation to your vagina and pelvic floor. This can help increase natural vaginal lubrication AND increase sexual pleasure for you!
You may also experience low sexual desire during your postpartum time.
Many things may contribute to this:
Fatigue
Frequent breastfeeding
Chronic sleep deprivation
Body image
Fear of pain during sex
Possibility of pregnancy
PMAD ( perinatal mood and anxiety disorders)
What you can do if you have low sexual desire:
Talk to your partner about your fear about sex or your feelings about your body.
Create time together. Figure out how your partner can support you so you can get more rest and less fatigue. Set aside time to spend with your partner
Maintain physical intimacy in other ways, such as cuddling, taking a stroll hand in hand and just sitting close together alone and talking.
Express affection with other gestures.
Be aware of signs and symptoms of PMADS and seek support.
False! Although exclusively breast-feeding may afford some protection it does not replace the need for a reliable birth control method. Research suggests waiting at least 18 months before attempting your next pregnancy to reduce risk of pregnancy complications.
Most importantly talk to your healthcare provider about your sexual health after pregnancy even if you are not asked about it!
You don’t have to be alone in this or feel ashamed if you are experiencing pain or low desire. Most new moms are going through the same things.
Sexual intimacy is an important part of a relationship. Be proactive and work on your sexual wellness. Remember until you are ready you can always find other ways to create emotional and physical connections with your partner.
